The Vase

vase broken

K. Barratt

 

I broke the vase -no,

Not broke it. Smashed it.

I smashed the vase against

The wall and danced barefooted

Over the glass, until the pool

Of blood made me fall

-Dammed, disgusting thing,

Viscous, putrid liquid tying me

To the walls of the hell in my brain,

Mushy barricades  that stripped off,

Rubbed off my name, myself.

And he screams, and I don’t

Know who he is, or why

He thinks he can touch me,

Stop touching me! I kick,

He evades me, but

My bloody feet splatter

Him in red, a la Pollock,

Who ever that guy is -an

Uncle perhaps? And why

Will he not let me go?

I shriek, people finally come in,

But it is me whom they take,

Me whom they tie,

Him whom they ask as they

Wrapped my feet in white. I screech

Even harder. I remind all of them

About the nether part of their mothers.

My heart is throbbing fiercer in my head:

I feel I’m about to explode,

And I sing a fight song from a movie

I think I saw -or was I on a war?

Is this my combat? Is it my battle?

Talk to me you dammed bastards!

Talk to me…for there must

Be a me beyond the jail of my mind.

A me outside the carrousel I’m chained to.

A me who must escape, who can’t take it anymore

And no, I don’t have a freaking

Idea about what meds you think I should take

Or took. All I know is the rage that is ripping

Through me. I can almost see my muscles

Crack, my organs ignite because

He stopped me. I wanted to go out

And he kept muttering about the snow

And the cold and the boots I had not on my feet.

I needed to run, and he was boulder on the road.

I’m burning here, people. There is

A beehive in my head, cannot you

Understand? Why can’t anybody

Fucking comprehend I am dying here,

Inside my mind?  I’m being shewed alive

By little monsters who look like coconuts

And a chimpanzee is smoking a cigar,

Laughing, as they drag me to a bodiless

Mouth of a thousand teeth! And he worries

About my feet, and the boots and the snow?

So, I broke the vase. No, not broke it.

Smashed it.

 

 

 

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